“The ongoing adventure of a lone cybernetic wizard versus the Mount
Cook Group, a subsidiary of Air New Zealand, in this narrative, an
evil multinational corporation. The Wizard of New Zealand tells
the story himself. If you have not already—first read
Part The First”
A Slap in the Face from Miserly, Ungrateful, Mt Cook Suits
Thrilled with my success I rang the Mt Cook offices to speak to Mr Tynan.
He was rather short with me and showed little interest
in my brilliant contribution to their campaign in Sydney and it had
not cost them a penny.
He repeated the allegation that I had been informed of the
promotion, had agreed to the use of my reputation and image
and that was the end of the matter.
I made it quite clear that I was prepared to overlook their
rudeness and unprofessional behaviour if they would recompense
me by arranging at least one return airfare to Europe or North
America for Alice and myself. I would be able to put New
Zealand on the map for tourists in a way that the hundreds of
paid consultants at present travelling round the world with free
air travel could not possibly hope to equal.
Unmoved, Mr Tynan informed me that Mt Cook had already
sent me a cheque for $200 NZ (about $120 US) and that this
was my fee! I was dumbfounded by their parsimonious cheek.
When I recovered the use of my tongue I pointed out that this
cheque was for personal out-of-pocket expenses incurred in
organising fireworks for my spectacular rocket-propelled skis at
the Winter Festival in Queenstown. (Receipts available). This
was done at my own initiative and at my own personal risk and
produced excellent publicity images on TV and in several
newspapers, including a front page colour picture in The
Southland Times.
I was now hopping mad. After allowing myself a few weeks to
calm down I approached Geoff Saunders, Alice's solicitor. He is
a decent chap and a first rate golfer and has been very patient
and helpful to me over the years mostly without charge, even
though I am not really a "legal person".
I Can't Get No Satisfaction
At the end of the year Geoff Saunders rang Mr Tynan to try and
sort the matter out amicably. Mr Tynan agreed that some sort of
deal involving airfares to Europe could be arranged.
As nothing more was heard, on February 27th Saunders and
Co. wrote a letter to Peter Clark, the Manager of the Mt Cook
Group Ltd., pointing out that the promised airfares had not been
forthcoming and that I was getting impatient.
Then on March 14th, Meares Williams, Mt Cook's solicitors,
replied denying that Mr Tynan had made any offer of airfares to
Geoff Saunders. They stated bluntly that the $200 cheque I had
received was proof of my agreement being the fee for the
whole promotion. There would be no other recompense.
Solicitors Locked in Combat
Since no reply was received, Saunders and Co wrote again on
March 25th asking for a answer in seven days. Meares Williams
finally replied on March 30th implying that Geoff Saunders had
been unfair in allowing Tania Heyward to listen in to his
conversation with Mr Tynan, and repeating the denial that he had
made any undertaking whatsoever.
Meanwhile financial magic had been going on the Mt Cook
organisation. They discovered suddenly that the $200 had been
for fireworks after all. Instead of apologising for their faulty
accounting they now found that I had been sent a cheque for
$50, which I had assumed was for extra expenses.
Freelance entertainers are always incurring minor expenses
which are settled later, and fifty dollars is such a tiny amount
(about $30 US) that I had forgotten it. I think it was probably
because the fireworks had cost a little more than $200.
Meares Williams stated that this $50 was my fee for the
Australian campaign and proof that I had known about it
and agreed to it!
It boggles the mind that a large commercial organisation, a
subsidiary of Air New Zealand which is one of the biggest
companies in New Zealand, could assert that fifty dollars was a
fair fee for the use of my name and image to promote New
Zealand in Australia. This applies whether or not I had agreed
to it. Only a mental defective would agree to such a fee.
The acrimonious legal correspondence went on until September
4th, when I instructed Saunders and Co that I would consider
my account with Mt Cook settled if they would arrange with
their parent company for Alice and I to travel free to Europe or
North America once or twice a year for the next few years.
Mr Saunders pointed out that, after 21 years, I was cutting back
my daily free performances in Cathedral Square, Christchurch,
to the summer months. I was planning to travel extensively during
the rest of the year, using my not inconsiderable skills in drawing
attention to myself to draw attention to New Zealand as well.
We received no reply.
No Agreement in Writing
The astonishing thing about the whole affair is that a large
business organisation, a subsidiary of one of the largest
companies in NZ, Air New Zealand, undertook a major
advertising campaign without securing the written consent of
the individual on whose reputation and image the whole
promotion depended. The unprofessional nature of this
procedure is truly amazing.
Even more surprising is that having realised this and being offered
the chance of an amicable post hoc settlement for an airfare or
two (which would cost them nothing and would bring them even
more good publicity) the manager of Mt Cook, chose to rudely
reject my request and instead chose to imply that (a) I was lying
and (b) that $50 was a satisfactory fee. He had previously
insisted just as dogmatically that the $200 fireworks cheque was
my fee.
Why didn't Mr Clark meet me personally to sort the matter out
when he realised there was no written agreement?
Why didn't he accept my request for the very cheap recompense
of a couple of airfares?
Why on earth did he instruct his lawyers to adopt bullying tactics
when he was skating on such thin ice?
Who in the world would belief him when he said that $50 was a
satisfactory fee for such a major exploitation of well known
intellectual property built up over 25 years?
My years as an academic with a degree in psychological theory,
led me recognise in Mr Clark a serious case of hysteria. See
"The Culture of Narcissism" by Christopher Lasch in my
Book list.
Incontrovertible Logic
The Logic of the situation is inescapable. If I am valuable
enough to use, then I must be valuable enough to pay.
I could see no point in going to court with a wealthy organisation
who could easily drag things out until I could no longer afford to
go on.
It was time for direct action. Fun Revolutionary style.
See The Fun Revolution" article on this web-site
Wizard's Twenty First
September 1995 was the twenty-first anniversary of my
controversial arrival in Christchurch.
An exciting "impact" story about this is in preparation for
this site).
Some months earlier the Mayor and I had agreed it would a
wonderful chance for a "Wizard's Week" of celebration. Part of
these celebrations was to be an exhibition of The Living Work of
Art at the city gallery.
All other avenues had been tried without success. With the eyes
of the media on my activities, this would be an excellent time to
publicise my dispute with Mt Cook. Some fun-revolutionary
direct action would surely melt their cold hearts, loosen their tight
purse-strings and provide therapeutic relief for Peter Clark.
First of all I informed the newspapers, radio stations and
television of the treatment I and my lawyers had received.
Mr Clark's reply was to offer me, through my lawyers, a single
return airfare to Australia (commercial value about $550 NZ)
and, when I refused it, he accused me of being greedy! He once
again implied that I was lying when I said I was not even
informed, let alone consulted and paid a fee for the promotion.
He stated this with the full majesty of his exalted position
assuming that, if it were a choice between believing him or
believing me, the press and other media would believe him. This
what happened.
No journalist chose to ask him why there was no agreement in
writing or why he had rejected my earlier offers of a cheap
settlement, they did not even question the ridiculous fee being
offered. I was surprised at their timidity.
To add fuel to the flames, in the same month The Dominion
newspaper in Wellington announced that Air New Zealand had
made a profit so huge ($260 million) that the whole country was
talking about it.
Continue on to
Part The Fourth...
Other examples of post-modern wizardry can be found on the
Wizard's Home Page.
