Sorry Jamie Oliver, but not all your British tukka is pukka according to a
group of twenty-somethings from New Zealand.
Kiwis love to travel. But what do Kiwis miss when they leave the land of the
long white cloud? What makes it on to the S.O.S. lists sent to family and
friends back home?
Pies, pumpkin, pavlova. Fish and chips and salt 'n' vinegar chips. Their local
brew and (well-you-wouldn't-be-a-Kiwi-if-you-
didn't-love-our) Watties sauce.
Hamiltonian Anna Sullivan's travels have taken her around most of South America.
She says, "One trip to a local market turns you into a vegetarian." In four and
a half months in Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia she dined on red meat less than ten
times. The sight of carcasses hanging unrefrigerated did nothing for
promoting carnivorism, she says.
Brazil got the thumbs up from Anna for a common type of restaurant called
comid por quilo (food by the kilo). Here you load up your plate, buffet style,
then your plate is weighed and you pay accordingly. Anna and her travelling
companions soon learned to "avoid food with bones and eat light-weight salads".
Anna discovered "salt 'n' vinegar chips have yet to be discovered worldwide".
Ann Goodwin, an Otago University student who spent the past year at Glasgow
University, on exchange, has much to say about the food habit of the Scots.
The thing that peeves her most is seeing 'with mushy peas' tacked on to the end of menus.
Among the weird products she has found on the shelf while grocery shopping are
hotdogs and chips in a can, which she has not been daring (foolish?) enough
to try.
Then there was IrnBru, the major softdrink in Scotland. Apparently it is the
only country in the world where a softdrink outsells Coca-cola - it is
even on tap at McDonalds there.
Brown sauce is the Kiwi tomato sauce equivalent in Britain. "They put it on everything," she says. It
is especially popular on bacon sandwiches, as advocated by Jamie Oliver,
the Naked Chef.
When Ann landed back on New Zealand soil last month her request was for
"fish and chips smothered in Watties sauce". (No, Watties have not
sponsored this feature, I'm merely quoting my sauc ... er sources).
Balclutha woman Sarah Cross went on a working holiday in America last summer.
She said bagels were her "saviour" and "the only good thing
about American food". The colours of the food were what put her off most.
Cheese, orange like the fruit, and butter that was white "just wasn't right"
in Sarah's book.
She observed the American affinity for peanut butter. "Americans have a love affair with it. There is
peanut butter everything - you name it, they make it in that flavour." Peanut butter icecream, peanut
butter chocolate.
Chriss-Lynn Macpherson, an Otago graduate who is working in public relations in Fukushima,
Japan, misses what some might argue is a dietary staple almost in Godzone.
"I miss meat pies, not very gourmet I know but then that is NZ for you."
Timaruvian Stephanie Hand (sibling of the feature writer) "desperately" misses Bluebird green
onion chips and onion soup/reduced cream dip. From her London flat she dreams about
cheese rolls ("made Mum's way").
"I have even paid the exorbitant prices and bowed down to this craving
once, but only once as it costs so bloody much."
"I miss pumpkin and pumpkin soup. The English believe that all pumpkin is
good for is feeding the pigs. They don't know what's good for them. I have
searched the shelves for either packet or tinned pumpkin soup but alas there is
none! I've had to settle for tomato."
Her partner, Jason Kitto from Alexandra, misses "pavlova" but their flat doesn't have an
electric beater so he is out of luck. The Central Otago lad also misses
Speights. But oddly enough, one night when he had gone without it for almost
a year Jason treated himself to a night of Speights at a Kiwi/Aussie pub at
£2.50 (NZ$7.50) a can. It was not quite as he remembered it, but he says he
is "prepared to put the hard yards back in" on his return home
re-establishing his taste for the beer.
England, apparently, has a product that goes by the name of Marmite but "
smells disgusting and tastes even worse" according to the couple's Geary Road flat. The
flatties went beef-free when foot-and-mouth hit Britain and has left six mouths
watering for good ol' kiwi steak. They stretch their grocery budget once a
month to have New Zealand lamb on the menu.
Stephanie scrawled down some of the prices for Kiwi fare at the Kiwi/Aussie
shop in Willesden Green, London. Among these were green onion chips (190g) at
about NZ$8.85 and Moro bars at about $3.74. Fancy a beverage with your snack
food? Well a 1.5litre of Lemon and Paeroa will set you back $8.97, a tin of
Milo $13.46. Owner/manager of Kiwifuits NZ Shop (in Pall Mall) Belinda Kitchin
(correct) says her store sells Kenyan Milo as Nestle will not supply them with
the kiwi stuff.
Ms Kitchin says pineapple lumps and peanut slabs are the most popular goodies
at Kiwifruits. She believes that even when equivalent products are available
people do not want to adjust to a new taste, however subtle. "They want
familiar things which remind them of home. It is comforting and food reinforces your
cultural identity."
I let my "fingers do the walking" and surfed the net, cruising the
on-line aisles. At Kiwifruits NZ Shop the sales pitch for Vitamite is: 'In NZ, the name
begins with "M". Only the name is changed. It is still 100% NZ
M-stuff in the jar. The UK stuff doesn't taste the same!"
It will cost you $6.88 to add the incognito M-stuff to your trolley. Why not
treat yourself to a box of scorched almonds for a mere $17.80 and for those
"its-moments-like-these" moments it would be wise to have a family
pack of Minties on hand, so add on another $7.48.
At TopGoodies.com "the word" was 190g of Bluebird chips were on
special for $7.03. If you are missing your Watties Mum then stock your pantry
with Baked Beans or Spaghetti at $4.94.
If you are thinking: "What does this article about patriotic palates have
to do with the price of fish?" - answer is 45p for the chocolate variety.
